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Name: pminct   Title: Need Help

Thought I was over my ex, but now that he is living with a new girlfriend, I am angry-----I told him I thought perhaps we might have worked it out (after he finished all his court dates)---but I can see that never would have worked anyways, especially since he got himself a girlfriend before all the court dates were over with!!!

But I guess I am angry because I am the provider, and the one who makes the child do the homework each night and go to bed at a normal hour.

But Dad is there on the weekends, the one my son does FUN things with---not the mom yelling to go to sleep on a weeknight and get up in the morning. Dad does all the good stuff, while Mom is the screaming shrew making the kid go to school, do his homework, and take a shower!!! I know when he is older he will understand it, but it really hurts right now that I'm the bad parent, while Dad is the FUN parent!!

Any suggestions for dealing with this would be appreciated.

Patty in CT

Name: cyn1 New Member

WOW, you mean I am not the only one!!! My ex is the vacationing, over spending, spoiling, fun, dad of the year type. If my children get in trouble at school or something one of their punishments are, they can't go to his house that weekend...they have to stay with me. Isn't that horrible. So not only do I have to be that person all week long, I have to be the punishment from fun time with dear ole' daddy. So this is what I am doing and so far so good. Any time I am having a problem with my boys to eat, get in shower, homework etc. I call him. They get on the phone with him and tell him what is going on and he has to tell them what to do. I also talked him into making a list of what he expects the children to do daily, it's called Daddy's rules still apply! It's been really great. My children are doing better, and also feel that their dad is still contected to "the family" and their Dad is handling more. I am not the bad one any more. Just because you are mad at your ex because he is living with someone else, doesn't mean anything. Perhaps you are just mad that the fact that you had the children together, but you are the one raising them alone now. I know I am. You are going to HAVE to make bath time, dinner time, homework, cleaning and all that horrible stuff more fun. Let them help you with dinner, sit with them during homework time reading a magazine or something, then you are right there if they need help. Shower times...add some color water or crayon soap. (Or do like I did and threaten to go in there with them...that worked!) Make the time with you fun!

Name: enlightenedgoddess New Member

You go do fun stuff too!! My kids love to go to the park and arcades and go out hiking with me all the time. Actually I would consider myself the fun parent.... from what I understand all he does is work and sleep, altho that doesnt surprise me that is what he did when we were married.